The Ultimate Backup and Recovery Software!!
December 6, 2000 -- Ok: you're in your study, it's 6:30 in the morning, and you've just spent 22 hours in front of the computer. You're a real mess and it shows; baggy eyes, wild hair, body odor. But it's ok, because you're not thinking about that. You're not thinking about that at all. What YOU'RE thinking about (obsessing about, actually) is this really cool new software package you've just discovered on the net.
After staying up all night, you've finally found something big to show for it. All the hours of fruitless clicking; all the aimless wandering through ether hallways and blind alleys; all the half-interesting news articles, quotes on stocks you don't own, and all those blinking banners ... you realize now that it's all been for a higher purpose. It's given your life new meaning and transported you to a higher plane. You've had an epiphany that this new software package was put on this internet to show you the true path in your life. You're on a mission now with an important job to do. Your job will be to spread the word:
The Messiah of software has come, and it's called Rescue 911.
You go to the family room and get the kids away from TV. You get your wife and tell her to come to the study ... the dog senses something's up and begins to bounce around and bark in dysfunctional joy. You gather your family around the glowing cathode ray tube so they too can bask in the warmth of this new thing in your life.
You begin to tell them -- no -- SHOW them the really cool features of this new software. You show them how it can back up the registry and all the important system files. They don't know what that means, but you assure them that it's really important. You show them how it gives you options ... the option to back up automatically each time the computer starts (you can SEE it backing up -- a nice progress bar and everything) or the option to back up manually with just the touch of a button -- you show them the cool graphics in the tabbed interface, the clearly written help files, and the context-sensitive help buttons all over. You show them the drop down menu items with hot links to e-mail the publisher (Montana Software). You point out that it's MONTANA Software and Montana's a really cool place. Don't they see how it all comes together?
You show them everything about this new program and you want to start telling them about what in means for you personally. But there's something about the way they look at you that sets off little alarms in your head. This thing represents a sea-change in computing and a whole new way of life, but they're just not getting it.
Your daughter's perturbed and you suddenly remember why: it's 7:00 AM and she hasn't called her boyfriend yet. Your son's not really there either.
You look at your wife and you see the woman who's stood by you for all these years; the woman who's been your partner and lover and friend; the woman who -- among other things -- needs to get ready for work this morning. She nods her head at everything you say and gasps in surprise at all the right moments. She tells the kids to listen to what their father is saying. She's being a really good trooper for you and you feel grateful and angry all at the same time. You look at her smiling and nodding at what you say, but you know what she's really thinking.
She's thinking: "If only he didn't loose that job ..."
Out of frustration you say: "Look," and bang the side of the monitor. "Even a CHIMPANZEE can use this thing."
Suddenly you realize that you've forgotten something; the Rescue Diskette. So you pull out an empty floppy and pop it in the A:\ drive. You push a button and click "OK" when prompted. While it's copying, you try to explain to your family just how important this thing really is. You try to tell them that this little floppy has all the commands on it to restore your system if disaster ever strikes. Don't they see?
You explain it like this: If this computer ever decides to go completely psycho on you, YOU'RE completely covered! If life online gets too screwy, just pop in that rescue diskette and everything will be good again. It's like a get-out-of-jail-free card.
At this point, your wife makes some sort of decision. She agrees that this is a very nice looking program, and she assures you that they'll be thinking about it during their day. She tells the kids it's time to get ready for school, and she begins to get ready herself.
You're left alone in front of your computer again, and the program is still there. You look out the window at the trees and bushes and an entire world of people living life off line. You know you should go out there ... just to walk the dog, if nothing else. But you're not quite ready for that ... there's still more surfing to do. And it'll be even BETTER now, because you can go anywhere. If the trouble gets too thick, you've got Backup. You look at your computer and you know you're safe. THIS little baby ain't going nowhere.
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